2009 - Synastry Revisited - Plugs and Sockets

Synastry - Relationship Astrology

I am revisiting this post from April of last year ( new thoughts added at the end)
I would enjoy hearing your experiences and observations - Susannah :-)

Every time we interact with anyone there is a 'relationship' going on. With some people this can feel easy and natural, we feel a flow, an affinity. Communication is easy. We feel understood, validated, appreciated.

With others we have to work at the interactions, it can feel uneasy or awkward, we have trouble putting our point across or understanding where the other person is coming from, there are misunderstandings. We feel the other person is just not getting us.

Then there are those interactions that are so difficult that it can feel as though you are coming from different planets! You seem to have no common reference points at all.

I have labelled this "Plugs and Sockets."

I coined this phrase while mulling over a relationship with someone, where no matter what I tried, I just couldn't establish a connection to effectively communicate.

It was like walking around this person with my plug (my communication) and just not being able to find the appropriate socket to plug into so that we could connect.

Believe me, I searched every square inch of the relationship and yep, just as I had feared, there was actually NO socket that fitted my plug.

So, I examined our synastry and guess what, my Mercury (communication and ruling planet) made No aspects at all to anything in this persons chart. There was literally no way this person could accept and truly understand my communication, they had no socket for me to plug into.

That got me thinking about aspects between people, (and plugs and sockets). Obviously, no two people will have sockets for every one of the other persons plugs, and vice versa. We don't need just 'one' person for all our plugs, that is why we have a variety of people to interact with, but in close relationships it helps to have the appropriate plugs and sockets (aspects) to make us feel understood, and to be able to flow.

If two people are spending lots of time together and one persons sun or moon does not have a socket (any aspects to anything in the other persons chart), then they can find themselves just relating from the parts of their personality/chart that ARE 'received'.

This can lead eventually to shutting down and not fully expressing the energy of their sun or moon. If this is ongoing in a close relationship, without other avenues of expression for the planet, then the energy involved could get backed up and blocked, if this is the case, appropriate alternative expression must be found.

Some people have lots of sockets we plug into, and we provide plenty of plugs for their sockets - this makes self expression and being understood and received, easy and nourishing and is the making of a good fulfilling relationship.

Further Thoughts and Observations

I have also been thinking about the times where the other person clearly has a socket for your plug but that the flow is not an easy one -

For instance, recently I was observing an interaction between two people who have each have mercury conjunct the others neptune. There is an strong and direct connection but they were obviously not receiving each others signals clearly, in fact they would have probably been better drawing pictures for each other to explain their points of view. I watched, as the very clear and concise communication left each person (mercury) but saw that as it reached the other it was not received clearly, it had become amorphous and distorted as though it had passed through some sort of filter on route. Both thought that they knew what the other was saying but they were both projecting their own interpretations, rather than hearing and processing the actual words spoken. . .

I have also seen this happen when a flowing easily expressed planet in one person, plugs into someone who has a saturn or uranus for instance as the socket - the flowing signal that is emitted by one becomes faltering and hesitant when they are plugged in to the other persons socket - it is as though a circuit breaker has been fitted.