The Lion and the Lightning Bolt - astrological musings

Aquarius Full Moon - Happy Birthday Leo!

2011-08-12T18:52:00.017+01:00

There I was strolling along by the side of the canal in my local town. I was lost in thought, thinking about my birthday and how this year it falls on the full moon in Aquarius.

When I looked up at the boat on my right and saw this! . . .

"Synchronicity hints at the unified world behind
the illusory veil of the material universe." - Roger S. Jones

Happy Birthday to all Leo's and a happy full moon to the rest of you!

- Susannah x

Leo New Moon

2011-07-30T21:09:00.016+01:00

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence actually liberates others. " - Marianne Williamson

Nail bite moon
sharp as scissors
arced and silvered
in the sky

solitary figure
in the landscape
new moon magic
one star shines

darkness cut
sliver of light
all nights horses
galloping by

Image and words - Susannah Bec

Behind the Portrait - 12th House

2011-07-16T12:17:00.005+01:00

I often write things for another purpose (in this case a writing prompt) and then look at it through astrological eyes and see its symbolism. . .

Upon the plain walls of my life,
there hangs a portrait. It is a good likeness.

And behind it, set into the discoloured patch
on the wall. Is a blank space.

And set within that blank space, is a secret safe.
Where I, have locked myself away.

And no one, would even begin to suspect,
that the portrait may not be me.

And that I, may be hidden behind it.
Sitting quietly alone, inside the safe.

In this, I saw the portrait as being all that is on show, the ascendant and our highly visible planets. While behind the portrait, the 12th house planets (in my case the mars and moon) are locked away. Also as my 4th house contains my Sun, I am often not immediately 'seen'.

Do you identify with this? Are some parts of you more noticeable, more easily recognised? Or is your portrait an accurate enough representation?

Image and words - Susannah Bec.

Jupiter sitting on my 12th house Moon

2011-07-05T22:47:00.043+01:00

"I have no words left to describe the moon.
For she who sails in the heavens, and pulls and pushes the oceans is not a one for words. She rules the surges of the heart, the nuances, the subtleties that the sun and his fierce shining light may miss. So I am sorry - I have no words left to describe the moon..."

"I held the mirror upside down today
but it didn't change what I saw. . .
Still me, still there, still the right way up."

The last couple of days I've been haunted by strange feelings surfacing, ones that I could not put words to. On checking my transits I found Jupiter sitting exactly on my 12th House Moon.

Images and words - Susannah Bec.

S O L U T I O

2011-02-23T10:28:00.004Z

The constant drip, drip, drip,
slowly dissolved the rock of me.
Diluting my essence homeopathically
until I swam, one part me, a thousand water.

Sweat, saliva, tears, still aware, still me, still there.

Sun, burned light, ferocious and questing,
lit the miasma I had become,
not content with my fluid end, it condensed,
evaporated the amniotic sea,
wanting to understand dissolution
its probing light sought what was left,
when shape and structure were removed.

Would the I of my identity survive intact?

The water vapour of me rose in the heat,
steaming spirals, swirling ever upward
dross gone, I had been reduced
to the very nugget of me,
distilled and potent.

Recalled to life.

Image and Words Susannah Bec

Recommended reading about the Alchemical Symbolism in the horoscope
Dynamic of the Unconscious - Liz Greene and Howard Sasportas

Chiron Returning Yet Again.

2011-02-20T09:56:00.009Z

"Some stories are true that never happened." - Elie Weisel

We all carry a wound.
Some carry many.
Healed or still raw,
they are our soft spots.
We shield those places,
that are delicate, fragile.
We build walls around them
to protect them, and prevent
them from being knocked.
For although old wounds
mend and leave their scars,
Sometimes just the tiniest touch,
can open them up again.
And all the pain,
can come flooding back.
As if it had never been gone.

Transiting Sun and Chiron on my Natal Chiron (0 Pisces).

See my other entries written when my Natal Chiron was being transited.

Image and words - Susannah Bec.

Another New Moon

2011-02-03T18:07:00.003Z

"New fields of Divine activity now open for me
and these fields are white with harvest."
- Florence Scovel Shinn

Tonight

a new moon

will slit the sky

with its tiny crescent,

cutting the black

with a pale glow

as it begins

its journey

to transform

from delicate sliver

to full round light.

But today

the air is still,

the land

waiting,

the cycle

has not yet

begun.

"The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected." - Robert Frost

Taken from my blog My Name is Zing
Where moments like these are captured

A Thought for Today. . .

2010-12-21T21:21:00.012Z

"A tree has both straight and crooked branches; the symmetry of the tree,
however, is perfect. Life is balanced like a tree. When you consider
the struggles, difficulties, and sorrows as a part of it,
then you see it as beautiful and perfect."
- George M. Lamsa

NaNoWriMo, Mercury Retrograde and Lessons Learned

2010-12-08T11:11:00.028Z

"Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away." - Charles Caleb Colton

I spent the whole month of November taking part in the NaNoWriMo challenge where the aim is, hmmm it's probably better if I let them tell you...

"National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing on November 1. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel by November 30. Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output."

Now I, on a whim, signed up for this challenge!
With no ideas, no plot, and no experience of writing anything longer than a blog post!

The whole point of NaNoWriMo is to get yourself a rough draft. To enable you to put down the bones of your story, so that you end up with a body of words to work from. They tell you not to read or edit it as you go, just to write and that is exactly what I did.

I can see their point that the endless revision and rewriting and inevitable procrastination would slow you down. As they say, the time for that is afterwards.

I managed to complete the challenge!

In fact I went on to write 72,300 words in 30 days. I finished on the 30th November and did as they suggested and left it alone for a while.

Now I am preparing to get it out and use the mercury retrograde period to do what needs to be done next, rereading, revision and rewriting.

What a perfect use of a mercury retrograde!

I am going to be making sure that I respect the energy of the mercury retrograde and make sure to take frequent back ups of everything I write too!

A Mercury retrograde tale. . .

I must admit I didn't used to take much notice of the mercury retrograde period until last year where my partner was looking for another car.

Now, I thought to myself, it isn't really a good idea to buy another car while mercury is retrograde. In fact I may have even mentioned it aloud and said it would be much better to wait until mercury went direct, but I didn't push the fact and my partner with his sun and mars conjunct in gemini was impatient to move on, so went ahead and bought the car.

Of course it looked perfect on paper, a really good deal and we always have such good luck with cars, or should I rephrase that, we always HAD such good luck with cars...this one on the other hand is - trigger scary music...the car from hell!

Well ever since then and as each new, unseen, and almost laughably unfortunate fault arises, I can not help but repeat "we shouldn't have bought a car under mercury retrograde".

My partner answers . . .

"you should have said at the time".

I did, but only in a half hearted way, I didn't INSIST, as I hadn't had personal experience of the consequences.

But I tell you what though, neither of us would EVER buy a car under mercury retrograde again!

So this mercury retrograde . . .

(10th - 30th December 2010) I am going to use its energy, and get on with my next stage of NaNoWriMo and reread, revise and rewrite.

So come on mercury retrograde get behind me on this, you owe me one!

"No one knows what he can do till he tries." - Publius Syrus

Out of that windspun night . . .

2010-11-19T23:16:00.010Z

The hero journey is inside of you;
tear off the veils and open the mystery
of your self. - Joseph Campbell

"Sometimes you need to define what it is for you
- what is the purpose of this wild and crazy life,
where is your place in the scheme of things.

Will you plod steady down the centre path of your life,
or skirt the edges, dancing with shadows,
listening to the music that is yours alone to hear.

Will you sparkle and shine and burn with passing passions,
reflecting the lights of the peripheral and almost unseen.

Or do you want to sink roots deep into the black earth and remain
steady, growing branches, sprouting leaves, reaching for the sky.

Do you run, do you walk, or do you sit and wait for the
sparkling moments to blow through your hair."

Out of that windspun night, from those galloping hills,
spangled with your precious stars

you come on heels of burning fire
you come with eyes full of desire

the raging sun burns in you
the gentle rains flow in you

No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself. - Thomas Man

How could I have been anyone other than me? - Dave Matthews

"I'll walk where my own nature would be leading:
It vexes me to choose another guide." - Emily Bronte

Images and words - Susannah Bec 2010

Darkness Illuminated

2010-10-31T22:41:00.007Z

As subconscious becomes conscious
great energy is released
and transformation occurs.

Image - copyright Susannah Bec 2010

Twelfth house

subterranean

dungeon of

things that seethe

and ferment.

It is a big place

intercepted and

home to mars

its ruler

and his anger

and the moon

and her vast ocean

the place is awash

with emotion.

I had no access

that room was locked

camouflaged to my

conscious mind

revealing itself

surreptitiously.

Repressed

and disowned

its infantile

energy

grew.

Then you came

with your venus

perched on

my moons

exact degree

and your mars

conjuncting

mine

(exact again)

and through

you

I could see

what I hadn't

before

and

I entered

that place

I could not see

and the

volcano

erupted

and

my world

fell

apart

and it

swept

away the

locked doors

and what was

subconscious

finally

became

conscious.

"When consciousness draws near to the unconscious,
not only does it receive a devastating shock but something
of its light penetrates into the darkness of the unconscious.
The result is that the unconscious is no longer so remote
and strange and terrifying, and this paves the way for an
eventual union....What happens is that its contents cross
over into consciousness more easily than before."
- Carl Jung, Mysterium Coniunctionis

Image and Words: Susannah Bec

Transit to Chiron

2010-09-20T22:46:00.004+01:00

Lately, I have been unsettled by the shadows
those fleeting glimpses at the periphery of my vision
for there seem to be ghosts living in the corner of my eye...

Individuality - Sun conjunct Uranus

2010-09-17T22:10:00.006+01:00

"Revolutions begin with the self, in the self" - Toni Cade

S u n C o n j u n c t U r a n u s

I think that with Uranus conjunct the Sun it automatically makes you hard wired with a kind of high voltage electrical energy. With a charged nervous system, stress easily effects these people and they are prone to being highly strung especially when the Sun is in Fire or Air.

They are strongly individualistic and have a highly developed sense of self and if you push these people...they will push back. They resist moulds and are not afraid to be seen as different and to stand up for what they believe. They have original minds and can easily think 'out of the box' and have an uncanny ability to pluck thoughts and inspiration out of thin air.

They can have trouble with physical co-ordination and as children they can find it difficult to catch a ball, for instance. They also may experience phases when they have trouble going to sleep or find them selves waking suddenly.

They relish being individuals and have no particular need to 'fit in' with the crowd - feeling their 'differentness' to be an asset rather than a fault.

"To me, the whole process of being a brushstroke in
someone else’s painting is a little difficult." - Madonna

I N D I V I D U A L

She was never one for pastels, her colours were bold
too volatile to have ever been considered demure
she screamed when others merely whispered
it was not her intention to offend, it was just her way

August bought forth a fiercely individual spirit
she couldn't, wouldn't, dull her shine for anyone
her voltage was high, she contained the electricity
but you could still hear it, popping and crackling

Under the shiny surface a golden heart was beating
as it pumped the ruby red lifeblood through her veins
Dancing flames licked around her head, a fiery halo
while all around her ankles the angry ocean roared

- Susannah Bec 2010

These are three verses of a recent poem... for the rest of the poem please visit my poetry blog - Out of My Ocean

Image and words Susannah Bec.

Pisces Full Moon - Time For Forgiveness

2010-08-24T18:17:00.018+01:00

"Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought,
and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt.
When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of
experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new
interpretation of life’s events." - Beverly Flanigan

I opened the door and there you were
Just as I had left you so long ago

The frozen moment immortalised
still replaying. . . over and over

But, now I am here again
to tell you I am sorry

to ask you to
forgive
me

This Pisces full Moon conjuncts Chiron (and falls on my natal Chiron).

Image and words by Susannah Bec.

Neptunes House

2010-06-17T09:57:00.046+01:00

"Abracadabra - a tap with a magic wand - gone!"

I am very familiar with the creative / spiritual / mystical aspects to Neptune, but I am curious about peoples experiences with the sometimes not so rosy effects that Neptune can have! In particular I wanted to ask if you are prone to experiencing confusion, fear and anxiety around the concerns of the house that Neptune falls in, in your natal chart?

For myself Neptune in the 6th house brings an oversensitivity to drugs (medications) chemicals, smells etc. It has always made any ill health I have had notoriously difficult to diagnose and that in turn has caused vague floating fears. Though I am very intuitive when it comes to other peoples health (and my amateur diagnostic abilities are usually excellent :-) - probable due to my Neptunes exact sextile to Venus conjunct Pluto in Virgo.) I don't seem to be able to see my own 6th house issues with such clarity!
These floating fears can also be pinned onto my pets if I am not aware and vigilant and I have trouble 'seeing clearly' if my concerns are valid or not. The sixth house is one place I sometimes have to ask others for a second opinion, as I know that sometimes reality can shift a little too easily there for me!

Some more thoughts based purely on observation of people close to me -

Neptune conjunct Ascendant / in the 1st house brings a shifting self image, a feeling of "I have lost myself again" - I was sure I knew who I was!
Fear sometimes comes from not having a clear sense of who they are and what they are doing.

Who are you? said the Caterpillar. Alice replied rather shyly, 'I - I hardly know, Sir, just at present - at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then' - Lewis Carroll

Neptune in 12th - if no time is made to allow Neptune activities into everyday life - meditation, creativity, daydreaming etc. then absent mindedness, forgetfulness and spaciness seems to seep through into day to day life - over tiredness and sometimes illness can be signs that these people need to retreat and look after their Neptune self. Vague floating anxiety can sometimes surface from the subconscious and fear can come from 'losing yourself' in things.

Some ramblng observations about how things can sometimes seem in Neptunes house

In the house of Neptune

Schrodingers cat
is both alive and not alive

*
nothing is solid
nothing is sure

*
morphing reflections
liquid truth

first I know
then I don't
maybe it will
maybe it won't

*
I had it a moment ago
now it has gone

*
It is true as long as you believe it
or until it dissolves before your eyes

I would love to hear about how it is for you!
What house is your Neptune in? Can you identify with any of the observations in this post? What effects do you notice?

Image and words - Susannah Bec

Astrology - The Sun's Gotta Shine!

2010-05-26T20:24:00.020+01:00

"The chart ruler can give us information about what life will require of us and, in combination with the Ascendant itself, may describe the kinds of situation the hero will meet on his journey. But the Sun ruler is our presiding deity; and the hero and his prize are ultimately the same thing. We can view the Sun sign from the perspective of what role we are called upon to play in life, and what unique contribution we can make by finding an individual channel for this archetypal energy." - Liz Greene and Howard Sasportas - The Luminaries.

FIND YOUR OWN WAY TO SHINE

"Losing yourself in your creation, the universe speaks with you."

- Valerie Kent

"You are one of the forces of nature." - Jules Michelet

I think I swallowed the sun today
one gulp and it had gone
burning . . .fiery
all the way down
to my belly
and there
it sits
shining

*

"Those who have the light in themselves will not revolve like satellites"

- Seneca

We need to find a way to allow our own Sun to shine, it is the light giving planet in our personal solar system, our ball of energy, our dynamo. We need to honour its needs, even in the face of sometimes contradictory urges within us. We must find a way to channel it's unique expression by sign, house and aspect - we must support our hero on its quest. . .
Sun in Leo - one of the popular misconceptions is that they need outward attention and drama, but once a Leo learns that its best and brightest creation is always themself - once they have swallowed the Sun - no other audience is needed.

Also see this post - Expressing your Sun

Image: hand painted Sun and Words by Susannah Bec
For more of my poetry please visit - Out of My Ocean

Taurus - New Moon - Mercury Direct

2010-05-12T00:04:00.005+01:00

It has been left unseeded
for a season or more.
Uncultivated - Inactive.
Vast potential
forgotten
in the fallow ground.

Motion stirs the quiet field.

Under the surface,
it is fertile and ready.
Potent and willing,
awaiting the warmth
and sunlight
of my attention.

I can feel quiet rumblings
as something deep within
begins to surface.

*

Image and Words - Susannah Bec
For more Poetry please visit Out of My Ocean

Earth Day 2010

2010-04-22T21:34:00.011+01:00

C E L E B R A T E

"When we touch this domain, we are filled with the cosmic force of life itself, we sink our roots deep into the black soil and draw power and being up into ourselves.

We know the energy of the numen and are saturated with power and being. We feel grounded, centered, in touch with the ancient and eternal rhythms of life.

Power and passion well up like an artesian spring and creativity dances in celebration of life."

- David N. Elkins

E A R T H - D A Y

"Evening Sun riding low in the sky rounds the corner of the building and abruptly streams into my room where seconds ago it was almost twilight. I am dazzled by the light and then by the realization that it is the rotation of this, our planet Earth, that caused this sudden illumination where moments before there was none." - SB

C E L E B R A T E - L I F E - I T S E L F

I walked for miles to find the tree
whose roots began inside of me

the earth, the moon, the stars, the sun
the roots, the branches all are one

I walked for miles to find the tree
who roots began inside of me

Happy Earth Day !

Photo taken in my garden

Moon in Aspect To Neptune

2010-04-10T23:05:00.030+01:00

"All children are sensitive to their mothers, but those with Moon in aspect to Neptune are uncannily attuned to her. They don't even have to be in the same room and yet they feel what the Mother is going through. If the Mother has pain, the Moon - Neptune child experiences that pain as if it were his or her own. Sometimes they may even feel responsible for the Mothers pain - as if they had caused it. In short, Moon - Neptune aspects give a problem with boundaries. Those with these placements don't know where they end and others begin."
- Howard Sasportas - The Development of the Personality.

There are moments
where I feel that I have
tapped into something bigger
something more than just my personal feelings

As though at the bottom of my own emotions exists a door

I swim right down to the bottom of my psyche
down into the universal ocean of emotion
that is surging beneath.

Everything ever felt
exists here

and it pours through me
I am its conduit
aware and
empty
I feel
it all

*

Painting: Moon-Neptune (and words) by Susannah Bec
For more poetry visit - Out of My Ocean

The Symbolism of The Circle

2010-03-28T11:41:00.010+01:00

"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." - Tao

“Whether the symbol of the circle appears in primitive sun worship or modern religion, in myths or dreams, in the mandalas drawn by the Tibetan monks, in the ground plans of cities, or in the spherical concepts of early astronomers, it always points to the single most vital aspect of life - its ultimate wholeness.” - C.G. Jung - Man and His Symbols.

I see the birthchart as symbolising the whole. You, your personality, your soul all contained within the circle, as though at the moment of your birth everything you
are, all your potential is captured in the symbol of wholeness - the circle.

A really interesting video of Joseph Campbell talking to Bill Moyers on the symbolism of the circle - Link

Image by Susannah Bec

The Feeling of Spring and its Effect on my Taurus Moon

2010-03-17T19:25:00.008Z

“There are beautiful and wild forces within us.” - St Francis of Assisi

Driving through the country roads I see fields and fields of newly ploughed earth - rich dark and fertile - I feel the spring time energy - the thrusting potential of a another new cycle of creation about to begin . . .

EARTH
Red brown earth, newly ploughed,
fertile and ready for growth.
Touches my Taurus moon.
Calls for my naked body.
Rolls me in its rich soil.
I feel the season.
Springtime energy
infuses me
patient,
as the sunwarmed life
springs forth.
Singing to me,
of days to come.
Dreaming
of the harvest.

*
"In today already walks tomorrow." - Friedrich von Schiller

Image and words - Susannah Bec.

Gemini Ascendant - Who Am I ?

2010-03-06T19:26:00.013Z

"Properly speaking, a man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognise him and carry an image of him in their mind" - William James

I have just realised something.

I have been trying to find a photo to use on my blogs, as I think it is nice when visiting a blog to see a photo of who is talking, it helps you to connect to them. (Do you share that feeling?)

Well, I sorted out half a dozen photos of me taken recently, some snapped of myself in the mirror (or taken at arms length for just this purpose) and a couple my partner took on a day out.

Then my dilemma began! which one looked most like me!

"Who you are moment to moment is just a story." - Chuck Palahniuk

I could see by comparing a few of them, that if you didn't already know me you wouldn't recognise that they were photos of the same person! I called my patient man in to help - "which looks MOST like me" I wailed! - "They all do" he replied.

Aaagh, back to square one!

Then I started to puzzle, why is this? Is it my Gemini Ascendant at work? Is it the Sun sitting on my Pisces south node today triggering my Neptuneness! (very easy to do!) lol

So my dilemma continued!

When all the photos were on the screen together, I felt a sense of calm but as soon as I isolated one photo and put it on to one of my blogs, I really felt that if that was the only way people saw me, it would be giving a false impression! It is a really strange feeling!

I have been having real trouble with this today! Maybe I will try again another day!

"We are happy when for everything inside us there is a corresponding something outside us." - W.B. Yeats

Have you got a Gemini Ascendant or a strong Neptune, can you identify with these feelings?

Image - Neptune (For absolute certainty doubts me - my reality is subject to change.)

Astrology and Access to the Subconscious - Revisited

2010-02-17T21:57:00.012Z

SELF UNDERSTANDING

"There is a great deal of unmapped country within us which would have to be taken into account in an explanation of our gusts and storms." - George Eliot

"We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect. The judgement of the intellect is only part of the truth." - Carl Jung

"Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that
press upward from the unconscious. "- Carl Jung

"A true knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power." - Mark Rutherford

*

Astrology has given me a way to access my subconscious.

A doorway into the realm where archetypes and dream images dwell,

the place where the lens through which I view my world

is either warped, or polished.

Pure intellect alone could not have given me entry into that world,

for shaman like, I have journeyed into that realm,

only to have lost my visions on the threshold of consciousness.

Astrology as a symbolic language enables me

to carry my discoveries safely back,

so that my mind can then set about interpreting the images

that are my messages to myself.

*

"No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself."

- Thomas Mann

Mercury on the IC. Moon and Mars in an intercepted 12th house. Moon opposite Neptune square Mercury. Moon trine Venus/Pluto conjunction in Virgo.
Image by Susannah Bec

2009 - Synastry Revisited - Plugs and Sockets

2010-02-10T22:59:00.017Z

Synastry - Relationship Astrology

I am revisiting this post from April of last year ( new thoughts added at the end)
I would enjoy hearing your experiences and observations - Susannah :-)

Every time we interact with anyone there is a 'relationship' going on. With some people this can feel easy and natural, we feel a flow, an affinity. Communication is easy. We feel understood, validated, appreciated.

With others we have to work at the interactions, it can feel uneasy or awkward, we have trouble putting our point across or understanding where the other person is coming from, there are misunderstandings. We feel the other person is just not getting us.

Then there are those interactions that are so difficult that it can feel as though you are coming from different planets! You seem to have no common reference points at all.

I have labelled this "Plugs and Sockets."

I coined this phrase while mulling over a relationship with someone, where no matter what I tried, I just couldn't establish a connection to effectively communicate.

It was like walking around this person with my plug (my communication) and just not being able to find the appropriate socket to plug into so that we could connect.

Believe me, I searched every square inch of the relationship and yep, just as I had feared, there was actually NO socket that fitted my plug.

So, I examined our synastry and guess what, my Mercury (communication and ruling planet) made No aspects at all to anything in this persons chart. There was literally no way this person could accept and truly understand my communication, they had no socket for me to plug into.

That got me thinking about aspects between people, (and plugs and sockets). Obviously, no two people will have sockets for every one of the other persons plugs, and vice versa. We don't need just 'one' person for all our plugs, that is why we have a variety of people to interact with, but in close relationships it helps to have the appropriate plugs and sockets (aspects) to make us feel understood, and to be able to flow.

If two people are spending lots of time together and one persons sun or moon does not have a socket (any aspects to anything in the other persons chart), then they can find themselves just relating from the parts of their personality/chart that ARE 'received'.

This can lead eventually to shutting down and not fully expressing the energy of their sun or moon. If this is ongoing in a close relationship, without other avenues of expression for the planet, then the energy involved could get backed up and blocked, if this is the case, appropriate alternative expression must be found.

Some people have lots of sockets we plug into, and we provide plenty of plugs for their sockets - this makes self expression and being understood and received, easy and nourishing and is the making of a good fulfilling relationship.

Further Thoughts and Observations

I have also been thinking about the times where the other person clearly has a socket for your plug but that the flow is not an easy one -

For instance, recently I was observing an interaction between two people who have each have mercury conjunct the others neptune. There is an strong and direct connection but they were obviously not receiving each others signals clearly, in fact they would have probably been better drawing pictures for each other to explain their points of view. I watched, as the very clear and concise communication left each person (mercury) but saw that as it reached the other it was not received clearly, it had become amorphous and distorted as though it had passed through some sort of filter on route. Both thought that they knew what the other was saying but they were both projecting their own interpretations, rather than hearing and processing the actual words spoken. . .

I have also seen this happen when a flowing easily expressed planet in one person, plugs into someone who has a saturn or uranus for instance as the socket - the flowing signal that is emitted by one becomes faltering and hesitant when they are plugged in to the other persons socket - it is as though a circuit breaker has been fitted.

Glimpses of Neptune

2010-02-01T00:38:00.014Z

"I see myself as a sieve. Everyone's feelings flow through me." - Liv Ullman.

"I'm familiar with formlessness, with things that never end.
Boundaries, that don't exist. Realities that bend."

I lose myself - I slip under doors - through cracks - I have no container.

*

She sang her own song

no one elses would do.

She saw through walls

and conversations

and the look in peoples eyes.

Everything was stark

Uncovered

Understood

*

Me - Neptune opposite 12th house Moon.
Words & Image - Susannah Bec.

Musings on Chiron

2010-01-20T10:34:00.029Z

I have been thinking about Chiron lately, as transiting Jupiter has just moved into conjunction with my natal Chiron at 0 degrees Pisces.

Observation: As it was approaching, I felt a pressing of my 'soft spot' while empathising with a dear friend who had suffered a loss, within moments my almost forgotton wound opened up before me, fresh and raw. . .

I am paper thin

the fragile membrane

protecting my wound

a sham

a trick of the eye

*

a raw spot

a gossamer wing

an eggshell

the truth

disguised

*

facade in place

the parade

continues

*

Shedding Your Skin

"Some days demand retreat, they scream go back inside, close the door and turn out the light. Cover your head with a blanket, curl up in a ball, dark and silent. Nothing but the sound of your breath, in and out, in and out. Block out marauding thought. Wait patiently until your skin grows back."

Shedding your Skin taken from - My Name is Zing
Image & Poem - Chiron - by SB - 2010.
For more poetry check out - Out of My Ocean

Notes: I recently read Joyce Masons article at Zane Steins Chiron Site - link and explored her idea of aspects to chiron and the path of least resistance. I could really identify with that when applied to my own chart and it set me off on another avenue of exploration. Thanks Joyce.

2009 Revisited - Thinking about Twitter

2010-01-10T11:17:00.017Z

I am revisiting some of my posts from 2009 and adding any new thoughts and observations that I may have had in the meantime. Please leave a comment, I love to hear your thoughts! - Susannah ;-)

Twitter, Astrology, Gemini and Me - from 23rd February 2009

I have been thinking about Twitter.

I am a frequent Twitterer, it appeals to me.
Quick bite sized comments fired off out into the wilds of cyberspace. It doesn't matter to me if anyone is listening, in fact at first I was surprised when someone commented on one of my Tweets, it was like, how do you know that! until I remembered about me and Twitter and this strange relationship we have built up.

Whether the tweets are serious, informative or light hearted, it seems to be the size of them I like. Just 140 words and that's it. No dragged out soliliquays, no long winded explanations. Just thoughts made manifest, pouring from my brain into that concise 140 word container.

Which got me onto the fact that it is a very 'Gemini' thing, and that is perhaps why it suits me so well. I have Gemini rising and I enjoy Twittering!. Then I realised that the friend that introduced me to Twitter has a Gemini Sun, and my cousin who I recently introduced to Twitter as I just knew she would be a natural, and she is! has Gemini rising just like me.

I think Gemini rising is probably a more prolific Twitterer. Other ascendants may interfere with the Gemini chatter, for instance my partner (a Gemini Sun, tweets only when he really has something to say - he has a Scorpio Ascendant ) whereas for me it feels like a very natural process.

So Twitter and a Gemini Ascendant, what do you reckon?

Do you Twitter? What do you think?

(Me: Gemini Ascendant with Mars conjunct it from the 12th house & Mercury in the 3rd house.)

Update:

Well the post above was written when I was reasonably new to twitter, and now nearly 11 months later, my perceptions (and my tweets) have changed.

The Gemini's mentioned above are no longer regular twitterers and in keeping with Gemini have probably found something else to spark their enthusiasm, whereas I am still going!

I can probably put this down to my 'fixed' nature and perhaps my Taurus Moon too - once I begin something I tend to have staying power, it then becomes almost habitual - I can be remarkably tenacious.

I am sure that my Gemini Mars and Ascendant without the backing of the fixed fire and earth would have flitted off long ago.

So, do you twitter?
What does your twittering style say about you?
Why do you enjoy twitter?
I would love to hear your thoughts or observations.

Find me on Twitter! - @joyfrequencies

Mars Retrograde - Processing - Composting - Growing.

2009-12-23T23:36:00.010Z

Vibrating in my throat, the feeling sits, a coiled snake
- a reptile that my mind has spawned.

Yellow and black
foreward and back
its red eyes dart
. . . over my ammunition
. . . in this war of attrition

It wants control of my tongue, it needs my words

to vocalise its hiss and rattle
to bear its venom into battle
it tastes the air
. . . sensing with dissatisfaction
. . . my characteristic lack of action

We wait.

I swallow and gulp and down it goes
eating it and its imaginary foes
it wriggles and writhes
. . . knowing I have found a cure
. . . tomorrow it will be manure

Knotted in my stomach, my digestion begins.

determined I will not be distracted
as all the nutrients are extracted
it softens and starts to dissolve
. . . slithering down with grunts and growls
. . . it enters the dark cave of my bowels

Its power is lost, it has been re absorbed

a dire situation has been elevated
the mind has lost what it created
I am retaining the power
. . . the waste is now expelled as shit
. . . to fertilise what I plant in it

Processing - Composting - Growing.

Also posted on Out of My Ocean as Processing - Composting - Growing.
Me - Mars /Asc in Gemini - Mercury, Sun/Uranus in Leo - Moon in Taurus.
Image -"What the F***" - SB.

Synastry, Saturn and Conjunctions

2009-12-10T17:14:00.029Z

Thinking About Synastry

Something got me thinking about how when other peoples planets conjunct ours in synastry it can bring to the fore the quality of the planet involved.

If the planets energy is not one that you normally experience strongly, it can sometimes be very noticeable.

As an example:
In my chart my eighth house Saturn in Capricorn chugs along in the background giving me a sense of stability, practicality and 'weight'. It is part of a grand Earth trine with my Taurus Moon, my Venus /Pluto conjunction in Virgo and also my Virgo North Node. It makes a 150 degree aspect to my Ascendant and apart from quintile/bi quintile aspects, that is it.

I have always had a positive relationship with those in 'authority' and I seem to be received well by them despite my Sun conjunct Uranus :-) and I have always put this down to my Saturn.

Now compared to the rest of my chart Saturn doesn't feel like a major player, I rarely notice his presence and even with transits, I tend to work with his energy and get down and learn something.

That is why it becomes very noticeable to me sometimes, when I am interacting with a certain person, that all of a sudden something comes over my usually cheerful and positive personality (Sun in Leo trine Jupiter in Sagittarius) and I feel a solemnity come across me and I start putting the other side to things, pointing out the rules and regulations, the correct way things should be done.

In her words - I 'piss on her bonfire' ! :-)

I can actually feel a change come over me and have to really fight the urge, as it is very uncomfortable for us both. With my Sun conjunct Uranus, pointing out rules etc. really isn't my usual style!

She is a strong personality and her Sun falls exactly on my Saturn.

For many years no one with whom I shared my life had any planets in aspect to my Saturn - I lived in a pretty Saturn free zone! So really noticed when it was triggered from 'outside of me' .

I wonder, has anyone else noticed that other peoples planets strongly aspecting your chart can bring forward a noticeable and maybe unexpected planetary response from you?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Thoughts on Living Through Changing Times.

2009-11-13T09:30:00.016Z

"These last two posts are not strictly about Astrology in the conventional sense. But in another way, I suppose they are? they are a response to the 'now', to the feelings and energies I feel in the world around me. In response to life itself."

As Above - So Below

Here are my thoughts on living through changing times.

"Every day is a new beginning.
Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be." - Marsha Petrie Sue
At any moment here on Earth, everything you could possibly think of is taking place, every spectrum of experience is being played out.

At every moment, as well as people being hurt or killed, there are people falling in love and new life being born, as well as war and atrocity there is deep peace and genuine compassion, for all the talk of lack and depression, there is growth and abundance, for everything fake and manufactured there are thing of real innate beauty.

"Moments are determined by how we define them.
Find a good ride in every wave." - Anon
It is easy to get caught up in believing that the reported world, the TV world, the things in magazines and shops are the reality of our life. What is really going on, is that we, humankind, are one of the species alive right here, right now, on this beautiful planet we call the Earth. It is spinning in space, warmed by a giant burning star we call the Sun and orbited by our satellite the moon. There are glorious forests of green trees, enormous deep oceans ebbing and flowing, magnificent winds blowing around our planet, rain falling and watering the myriad of growing things upon its surface. There is beauty and life, real life, going on everywhere, it is what we are, what we are a part of.

"You are the energy, and the energy is you." - Berri Clove
We have a choice in every moment where our attention will be placed and focused and what energy we are adding our weight to on this seesaw of life. Do we observe and add to the worry, pessimism and despair? or do we choose to look at the beauty that is everywhere and feel grateful for the abundant, renewing life force of nature. We have a choice, which will we choose to observe today.

The more you try to fix, the more you find to fix.
Only wholeness heals. - Alan Cohen

Image - Natural Face - Fire and Earth
Image and words by Susannah Bec

Being Authentic in a Holographic Universe

2009-11-11T21:15:00.004Z

Thoughts in a time of change.

Energetic frequencies, repression, alignment and taking back control.

Beneath the social niceties of good manners and everyday pleasantries we respond to people instinctually on an energetic level.

Our instincts sense things that our eyes don't. Someone can be skilled at mask wearing and have a very effective facade, donning the mask of the character they have chosen to play, usually the one they think will get them the most response, respect, applause or whatever it is the individual is seeking. Sometimes the mask wearer has no idea that they are in disguise, the method of relating has become ingrained.

Sometimes people can be consciously presenting one image, while subconsciously broadcasting a different energetic frequency. If the facade and the underlying energy don't match then other people can feel it, they may not be able to put their finger on why it is uncomfortable but they will register that it is, and often respond with an energy that is a match for the underlying energetic frequency.

As with passive aggressive people, on the surface they may come across as 'nice' people, but underneath the aggression is barely contained and seeps into the surrounding area where it can be felt. Often, due to the underlying tone of their energy being picked up on and responded to unconsciously by the people around them, they can be the victim of their own unacknowledged anger being sensed by and acted out by others.

So even if a personality is talking about things of value, or being sweetness and light on the surface, if it doesn't 'ring true' with the overall tone of them at an energetic level then the signal will be at cross purposes and cause interference and hinder true expression.

BEING OUT OF ALIGNMENT

CAUSES INTERFERENCE IN THE SIGNAL

Being Authentic
When people are being authentic in their communication, as in being aligned with their authentic self, then that too can be felt by others and in turn triggers an authentic response in those listening.

Communicating from an aligned authentic place has deep nutrition, as it evokes a response from the same place in others. If the mask and the deeper levels or the intellect and 'gut' are not in tune with one another, then it will maybe provoke intelligent communication that feeds the mind, but on a deeper core level it will not be received and in some way you will not register that person as being 'real'.

We are Complicated Creatures
Energy becomes misaligned because it is repressed. We are complicated creatures who have coping mechanisms to cope with feelings, experiences and situations that we don't know how to deal with. We work to protect our vulnerable inner core. After a while if this is too painful or too difficult to deal with, we then separate and cut ourselves off from our subconscious and feeling levels and stay in the relatively safe space of our head and intellect.

The things and feelings that are repressed don't go away just because we no longer consciously acknowledge them. We may externalise our issues and deal with them in the 'outside' world where we can see and safely interact or campaign for an issue that perhaps is also a reflection our own underlying wounds. As an example the one who felt abandonment works to save abandoned children or pets and by doing so is actually healing his own abandonment issues. The things that we are moved to address in the outer world are also part of making ourselves whole.

It also works in that people fight against externalised darknesses and project on to an enemy 'out there' who needs dealing with. This causes wars, one race against another, one country against another, one school playground fighting with the neighbouring school.

An Interconnected Entity
Each of us who can take that inner commitment to honestly explore ourselves and deal with our own issues is contributing to the whole. Existence itself, is one interconnected entity and by healing yourself and achieving your own authenticity you will trigger that in others. You fight it 'out there' and you have no control, the control panel lies within.

Picture a body where every cell is whole, healthy, functioning well and contributing to the whole. Now picture a body where one cell has been damaged so decides to 'convert' all the other cells, it rampages through the body spreading itself, until the body weakens through the spread of this 'cancer'.

So there are the choices, stay disconnected and believe it is 'all out there' and fight it or be a victim to it. Or take back control, deal with your own shit, find your authenticity and let your authenticity trigger the response in others.

Whatever affects one strand of the web of life affects it all,
you can not tug at one strand without finding it
attached to everything else.

Do we live in a holographic universe where each part contains a reflection of the whole? where the microcosm can influence the macrocosm, where if one 'cell' gets healthy and whole and transmits a pure clear note, then others near by can pick up on a energetic level and attune to it, where authenticity triggers authenticity and wholeness triggers wholeness. Where we take responsibilty and see our very lives as our sacred act. Where the things we include in our energetic mix are also reverberating back through the whole web of life, to influence and affect the whole.

The Clear Stream of Life Itself

Those that see beauty, those that feel compassion, those that feel joy, those that honour their emotions, those that love, those that sound a clear note, those that are brave enough to clear out their basements of all the hoarded hurts, those that let go of programming, preconceptions and judgements, those that allow the clear stream of life itself to flow through them, unimpeded by the internal debris that clutters and clogs our channels, I give you my greatest thanks.

New Moon - Libra

2009-10-18T19:38:00.004+01:00

"The trick to juggling is determining which balls are made of rubber and which ones are made of glass." - Anonymous

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." - William Arthur Ward

"Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be." - Marsha Petrie Sue

12th House Highlighted

2009-09-20T23:51:00.021+01:00

"The human psyche shows that each individual is an extension
of all of existence." - Stanislav Grof

I nearly slipped down the cracks that opened in my reality today. Fissures in the once solid ground threatened to swallow me as I passed.

The looming dream world too close for comfort, infiltrating the light of day. No longer content with its sleep populated realm, it tore a hole in the thin fabric that separates these two different worlds.

Maybe these rips are always there, hidden, unseen, but today, I noticed.

12th house Mars and Moon. Moon opposite Neptune both square Mercury on the IC

Advice for Gemini

2009-09-11T23:23:00.023+01:00

"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Gemini

Keep evolving - keep interested - make variety a condition of your life.

Seek new things - new experiences - don't allow anything to become stagnant.

If you are bored - lacking in energy - you have been stifling yourself.

Find something that excites you - honour your nature - move.

"Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn't taste good." -Lucia Capocchione

I asked a Gemini friend what advice they would give a Gemini ?

They answered . . .

"Occupy your mind or your mind will occupy you."

Have any of you Gemini's out there got anything to add?

Venus Conjunct Pluto - Dealing With Darkness

2009-09-02T12:36:00.012+01:00

I just wrote this this morning and posted in on my blog Out Of My Ocean
I thought I would post it here too. . .

Dealing With Darkness

Peripheral vision glimpsing the darkness that lurks in unused corners. The shadows stalking my footsteps. Wrapped blackness creeps. The amorphous night seeps in through a crack. Tangible darkness billowing like smoke. It follows my breath.

Fear rises to greet this ancient comrade, emotion hooked into an age old dance. They move together as mutual passion is fueled. Darkness feeding fear, fear feeding darkness. Locked in a lovers embrace they writhe, energy quickening, they are lost in each other.

Eyes open I stare into the blackness, caught up in the passion of the moment. The energy creating vortexes, whirlpools. Nothing solid in this world of night. I pull my energy out of the fray. Anchor strong and steady I close my eyes, reach for the light inside and flick the switch.

Venus conjunct Pluto - Moon and Mars 12th House.

Hide and Seek - 12th House

2009-08-26T21:00:00.008+01:00

I think I know how all this started,
when I was young
I played hide and seek,
and to the best of my recollection,
...nobody ever found me.

(12th house Moon opp Neptune
both square Mercury on I.C.)

This was written long, long ago before I had even seen my birthchart! ;-)

Gemini Man

2009-08-11T17:28:00.015+01:00

My Gemini Man just opened his wardrobe and sighed in exasperation.

"Why have I got so many hats?"

He turned to find me with a big smile on my face.

"Oh, something astrological again I suppose!"

"Yes," I said, "something astrological." :-)

Endings and Beginnings - Solar Eclipse

2009-07-21T16:52:00.034+01:00

Tentatively
I scrape away at the surface.
Little by little the top layer is removed
exposing the rich, brown soil.

Hidden from the light, it has been concealed,
moist, damp, dark and fertile.

I make a hollow
and feel the crumbly earth
packed under my fingernails,
as I start to dig.

Bare hands
excavating,
deeper, deeper
as a hole is pulled
from inside myself
and transplanted in the ground
beneath my dirty hands.

This deep dark cavern is potent,
receptive and waiting
as I drop my past into the bottom,
and feel it spread and ooze
down into the expectant earth.

From deep within me
I release my unspent tears,
they surge upward, irrigating me
loosening the tiny rocks
and pebbles
of hurt

Gushing out and into the hole,
shiny and wet against the black earth.
Washed clean

I feel bubbles of joy rising from my core,
I drop to my knees as I begin to smile
and then with my body shaking
I laugh into that deep dark hole.

From out of my mouth like shining stars
seeds S C A T T E R on the newly fertilsed soil
and begin to germinate as soon as they touch the ground.

The joy thunders through my body
as I gently cup the mounded soil
and begin to fill the hole.

*

Image title : Endings and Beginnings

Can We Look At Uranus, Neptune and Pluto Objectively?

2009-07-13T22:07:00.057+01:00

So, can we possibly view the outer planets clearly?

I have been thinking about the outer planets and have realised that I don't/can't view them objectively. Of course I have read all the text book definitions and recognise the essence of the outer planets but still believe that because of my chart placements I am not seeing the actual unadulterated energy.

URANUS - I have my Sun conjunct Uranus (20/21 degrees Leo trine Jupiter in Sag.)

To me Uranus energy usually feels liberating, exciting, creative.

I enjoy being an individual, I take "you're weird" as a compliment! lol.

I don't mind, going against the herd, standing up for what I believe. . . being different

Uranus transits for me are usually positive, though the early ones really didn't feel that way, more like a bomb had gone off destroying my life and everything I had clung to for security, family, home and lifestyle (I have Uranus in the 4th house.)

After the first major transit (which shattered my seedpod and changed the course of my life) I learnt some strategies and when I feel Uranus looming I 'let go and go with the flow'.

Uranus is great at sweeping me out of ruts and too comfortable comfort zones and whisking me off to new growth and lots of times a whole new life! Like Dorothy in a wizard of OZ - all of a sudden I am in a new place and everything has changed. When I look back these have been the periods of my greatest evolution,

I must say at this point that my Taurus Moon is NOT always so keen. :-)

Running softly, soundlessly, across the midnight rooftops, a dozen factory chimneys etched in black.

Through the silhouettes of night, my soul goes running, silence masking its footfalls. Far away a ship calls home, its cry echoing in the murky blackness, a pigeon roosts on a factory windowsill, its glass reflecting the moon.

As my soul goes running, no shadows does it cast, nor reflections are seen. For who will take the time in the dead of night, to look at midnight rooftops, and notice, as my soul goes running.

So for me Uranus is tied up with my Sun, my identity, it can not be seen separately, it is part of me. So I am unable to view it dispassionately.

I have observed people with Uranus in difficult aspects having trouble with feeling different, feeling like an outsider, wanting to fit in. I have seen it disrupt peoples lives and turn it upside down.

They would not view it as I do. I believe that like life itself, how you view things is filtered through who you are. (In Astrological terms - through your birthchart.) So, no absolute truths, just perceptions.

NEPTUNE - I have a 6th house Neptune opposite my 12th house Moon in Taurus both square my Leo Mercury/IC conjunction.

So for me Neptune is an emotional planet, a sensitivity, I feel people (sometimes too much.)

I have to be aware that I am porous on an emotional level, others emotions penetrate the thin membrane surrounding me.

My own emotions can be contained, worked with, healed and understood if I keep them safe within my 12th house cave and allow them to be nurtured by my grounded Taurus Moon.

But if, as in earlier years I externalise my emotions, try to share them, they become vast, amorphous, without end.

I lose myself, I slip under doors, through cracks. I have no container. If written down they can be captured, the paper gives them boundaries, I can see them.

For me Neptune is sensitivity, inspiration, intuition, compassion.

Navigate the darkness.

Edge your way forward, one sure foot in front of the other.

Eyes closed, you trust your inner light.

Immersed in feelings you have no need of sight.

Your inner navigation knows the route.

Intuition the compass of the soul.

Feel the direction, the magnetic pull on your primal instincts.

Trust the path, trust your gut, trust your self.

Keep walking.

*

Some Neptune transits have been more difficult for me than the ones from Uranus. I have in recent years lived through Neptune opposing my Sun/Uranus conjunction, and as it makes no aspect to them natally, this was an energy my Sun was unused to! I had a very physical reaction to the transit. Whereas Neptune aspects to a planet in my chart that 'knows' that energy is easier, it is recognised and can be worked with.

As Neptune is placed in my 6th house and also has an 150 degree aspect from Mars it affects my physical health - In fact the whole sixth house Neptune issue deserves a blog post of its own to explain/explore as I have so much to say.

I hear Neptune and attach emotion to it. Someone with Mars conjunct Neptune would see it differently.

PLUTO - Pluto is conjunct my Venus (5/6 degrees Virgo) and also part of a grand Earth trine with my 12th house Moon and 8th house Saturn.

So Pluto, I associate with relating, with relationships.

In my younger days I was taken down into the depths and reborn again through my relationships.

Destroyed and resurrected. I have no fear of the deep dark places of the human psyche, of the depths of emotion. I know that from the darkness comes rebirth, comes healing.

You just have to be willing to face the darkness. Sorry, I will change that. You have to endure the darkness, you have to be courageous and hold on and wait for the process to run its course and churn you out remade, renewed, reborn. Hopefully with a few nuggets of gold in your pockets that you saw glittering in the corners of that dark underground cavern and carried back safely into the light.

I like to relate on a deep level. I like to look beneath the surface.

Golden, I am golden,

a fiery sun burning with a never ending flame.

Red hot centre combusting,

radiating outward,

wave after wave fueled by a magnificient wind,

whirling, blowing life into the feeding flames.

I am alight, radiant, glorious.

Raging heat, the nucleus of creation,

throw me down into your molten heart,

transform me in your crucible.

Forged in the white heat to arise

a phoenix from your flame.

Base to precious,

lead to gold,

transmutation,

alchemy.

*

Pluto needs depth whatever it is attached to in our chart.

That is why text book definitions help us to get an idea of the 'nature' of a planet but observation of ourselves, others and life is needed to fully understand and integrate all the nuances of any one planetary energy.

QUESTIONS - How do the aspects from the outer planets to personal planets in your chart colour how you view them?

Do you notice the outer planet energies in your day to day life?

All poems taking from my poetry blog - Out Of My Ocean

All Images chosen from my artwork to express the qualities of the particular planets

Sun conjunct Uranus

2009-06-29T09:52:00.022+01:00

In my chart I have Sun conjunct Uranus in Leo in the 4th House trining Jupiter in Sagitarius in the 7th house. In general I find it to be a real positive, I am pretty comfortable in my "individuality". ;-)

But I was just reading through some of the older posts on this blog when I came across something I had written about one aspect of my Sun conjunct Uranus.

I can be what you could call 'highly strung' not in a nervous, fragile way, more like, as the line in the poem below says "wired under strain" like a rubber band stretched to full capacity. At times I feel my nervous system is so acutely sensitive that I don't have much 'stretch' if something twangs my rubber band! :-)

URANUS
I'm lit from within by a terrible light.
I'm buoyant, and radiant, and raw.
Intensely connected.
Wired under strain.
Tension, too tight to ignore.

Obviously this is accentuated by certain transits (and I am sure the above was written under one of them). I also have Mars in Gemini conjuncting my ascendant (from the 12th house) and I have to be aware of my excess of 'Mercury "mental" and Uranian "electrical" energy for fear of short circuiting or blowing a fuse! I can't take too much stress.

How do you experience Sun conjunct Uranus, does anyone else feel 'wired under strain'?

Image - PASSION - Sun conjunct Uranus in Leo

Mercury in Leo

2009-06-14T22:00:00.028+01:00

There have been times when I am talking,
that a certain person has been known to say
(jokingly of course ;-))

"Don't be SO dramatic!"

To which I reply . . .

"I can't help it,

I have Mercury in Leo." :-)

Scorpio Ascendant

2009-05-28T09:27:00.024+01:00

I asked a friend with a Scorpio Ascendant why they used to wear dark glasses so often?

They answered . . . "it is like having net / lace curtains at a window".

That Night in the Bar

2009-05-18T19:23:00.029+01:00

I'd been a long while away and as I stepped from the car

and pushed open the door that lead to the bar

the music, the smells, the dense smokey air

assailed all my senses, as I looked for a chair

I watched as my friend pushed through the crowd

and wondered why they needed the music so loud

I was finding it difficult even to think

as I sat in the corner and sipped on my drink

finally I got used to the sights and the sound

and started to take a good look around

there in the corners sat people like me

and at tables around, there were others to see

leaning on walls, they were not part of the din

glasses in hand, they were sinking within

I've seen musicians at work, channeling tunes

I've watched readers of tarot, casters of runes

I've seen people praying, down on bended knees

I've seen painters awestruck, before vast churning seas

and in that very moment, I began to understand

that life and that longing, walk hand in hand

what I saw in those faces, that night in the bar

was at the bottom of a glass, they were glimpsing that star

their eyes became shiny as they entered the zone

The gods were there with them, they were no longer alone

It was clear to me watching, that right there in plain sight

Neptune was there, in the bar room that night

Image - Saturday Night (Watercolour and Marker Pen)

Thoughts - Words - Memories

2009-04-26T20:06:00.031+01:00

Buffeted by internal winds
my thoughts take flight.
Birdlike, they swoop and soar,
riding the thermals
of my mind.
Circling shoals,
winged and able.
Enjoying the freedom.
Relishing the space.
Not fettered, nor caged.
Observational acrobats.
Comfortable,
In their element.

Above - a revisit to an older post.
Below - memories evoked by the latest post on The Radical Virgo.

The memories -
I grew up in a house where words were important and we played word games a lot, often the dictionary was picked up and opened at random and a word selected to see who knew the meaning and could spell it too.

Well, to stay ahead of the game,I decided that I would learn the dictionary! yes that's right, the WHOLE dictionary. LOL

With my Gemini Ascendant (and Mars conjunct from the 12th house) and my Venus conjunct Pluto in Virgo, this became rather obsessive! Needless to say for my own sanity I didn't persue the task to the bitter end but was a voracious reader all my childhood.

In general now, my Gemini gathers, and my Virgo sorts the wheat from the chaff.

Mars conjunct Ascendant in Gemini sextile 3rd house Mercury in Leo.
(Venus/Pluto in Virgo.)

Thanks for the memories Joyce :-)

Expressing your SUN

2009-04-16T01:56:00.011+01:00

Our Sun needs expression, it needs to shine, it needs an outlet, it needs to be acknowledged. It needs to cast its light on the rest of your chart, to energise you, to push you forward, it is your life force. It is symbolic of your 'hero's journey' you must heed its call.

If your Sun is well placed with easy aspects, you will be a natural! you won't have to think about it, it is just the way you are, it is 'you'.

If on the other hand it has challenging aspects or placement, or is out of tune with the rest of your chart, it might be more difficult to access, you may feel the lack of energy as you are not allowed to shine.

An example, a friend with a Scorpio Ascendant, Capricorn Moon and a Gemini Sun, the Gemini Sun was not allowed to 'be' as it was judged by the Capricorn values and stifled by the Scorpio reserve. It wasn't traditional enough, it didn't conform, it had no staying power, etc. etc. etc. So the Sun began to think that it was a 'negative' not understanding its true worth and began to shut down and live the Capricorn way, comfortable for a while, then the strange lack of energy, of interest, of life force began.

When the Geminis true path, qualites and strengths were acknowledged and allowed, the life force returned, the way was understood, it was still not an easy partnership and involved compromise but it was much improved.

How does your Sun fare? is it supported, expressed, happy, do you shine?

Thoughts on Synastry - Relationship Astrology

2009-04-01T12:16:00.031+01:00

Every time we interact with anyone there is a 'relationship' going on. With some people this can feel easy and natural, we feel a flow, an affinity. communication is easy. We feel understood, validated, appreciated.

With others we have to work at the interactions, it can feel uneasy or awkward, we have trouble putting our point across, or understanding where the other person is coming from, there are misunderstandings. We feel the other person is just not getting us.

Then there are those interactions that are so difficult that it can feel as though you are coming from different planets! You seem to have no common reference points at all.

I have labelled this "Plugs and Sockets."

WATER : Moon opp Neptune

2009-03-25T21:25:00.004Z

The ink black ocean that knows my name
yearns to enfold me in her depths
Never more to search the sky
with eager eyes, that drink colour like wine
Intoxicated by blue
The howling wind, abetted by
insistent waves that scream and shout
tug me to her lonely shore
where watching, one eyed
her accomplice moon
does nothing to reassure me.
Once again down into the surging seas
internal tides, beginning to swell
I know that as the rhythm enters me
searching for my surrender.
I will begin to dance.

(Moon opposite Neptune)

Copyright © SB 2008

The Outer Planets and Me - Pluto

2009-03-04T08:41:00.006Z

I take Pluto's hand. I observe and am transformed by the depths. I have been taken apart, and put back together again so many times, that it makes the descent a little easier. For I know and anticipate, even whilst I am alone in the darkness, the growth and understanding that will be the ultimate reward.

It gives me an understanding into the dynamics of people and of relationships. It shows me behind the scenes, underneath the surface. It reveals what has been kept hidden, Opens closed doors, shines lights into closets, tells secrets.

Pluto...I have been purified by fire and arisen from the ashes.

Venus conjunct pluto in virgo trine taurus moon (both loose trine saturn in capricorn-earth grand trine) square mars in gemini and sextile neptune.

Twitter, Astrology, Gemini and Me

2009-02-23T14:45:00.026Z

The Outer Planets and Me - Neptune

2009-02-16T23:31:00.014Z

Neptune comes in pictures, images, sounds, colours and feelings. It links me with the female, the yin, the intuitive.

It gives me a foot in both worlds. It understands and is at home in the world of dreams, archetypes and symbols, for they are its realm. It knows the "reality" behind the reality.

It enables me to see the "bigger picture." The drama that is being played out on earths big screen TV. Neptune hands me the remote control, enables me to switch channels.

I see pictures in everything. I hold the stem of a newly sprouted sunflower seed, and tears spring to my eyes, as I feel and identify with the life force within...striving to become.

Neptune in 6th house opposite Taurus Moon in 12th square Mercury/IC and MC. Sextile my Venus/Pluto conjunction in Virgo.

Alignment - Leo Full Moon Eclipse

2009-02-09T10:08:00.027Z

I have come into alignment with myself, walking in time to my own rhythm, trusting my own beat.

Scattered pieces now magnetized by my core, return and slot in to places I didn't even know were empty.

A jigsaw coming together, edges done long ago, the final bits are slipping easily into the missing spaces.

Fragments I suspected long gone, were not lost, just hidden.The final piece will reveal the whole picture, I pick it up and gently put it into place.

This was written today:
with the Leo full moon sitting exactly on my natal Sun/Uranus (at 20/21 degrees Leo) and the transiting Aquarian Sun /chiron conjunction exactly opposite at 20/21 degrees Aquarius).

Transiting Neptune at 23 degrees Aquarius is trine my natal Jupiter in Sagitarius and transiting Mars is exactly opposite my Natal Mercury.

The Outer Planets and Me - Uranus

2009-02-07T11:23:00.018Z

Uranus gives me flashes of pure incisive thought. It slices through the veil. It gives access to the universal mind. I am energised, quickened, excited, sure. I channel myself.

Sun conjunct Uranus in Leo trine Jupiter in Sagittarius

Transits, Progression and Personal Growth

2009-02-03T11:41:00.016Z

From my experience, a new stage of personal growth (usually triggered by transit or progression) is very often marked by the entry into your life, of a person, situation or circumstance that highlights the lesson to be learned.

By triggering a planetary configuration within our chart, or by highlighting the house / area of life where the work will need to be done, it can provide a focus and a clue as to where in our life / personality our attention is needed, to facilitate our continuing personal evolution.

Of course it can also be marked by the exit from your life of someone or something that had a strong stimulating effect on a particular planet / set of aspects within your chart (keeping it to the fore so that it could be worked on).

When this added weight to one bit of our "make up" is removed, it enables the restructuring of our internal "soap opera" to allow another character to come forward, as the previous "characters" storyline has been exhausted for the present moment, and all that could be learned in that particular phase of growth has been done.

Copyright © SB 2008

Observation - Mars

2009-01-26T00:49:00.022Z

Astrology understandings in real life situations.

I was feeling tense and a little angry the other day and my man (a usually patient observer of my feelings) said to me "I bet you were born livid" I burst out laughing as I realised with my Gemini Mars conjuncting my ASC from the 12th house, yes I probably was!

Transiting Jupiter

2009-01-23T23:46:00.019Z

The past few days, maybe it has been a week, I am not sure, as I seem to have lost track of time. Well, anyway, the last however long, I have been feeling really energised and 'buzzing', I have had a job sleeping and ideas have been coming thick and fast.

I have been blogging and doing a tremendous amount of creative stuff after a long period of being pretty stagnant and not having much desire or inclination to do anything much. It is like a light has been turned on, like I have been turbo charged and am running on high octane fuel.

I have felt similar feelings before, the sleeplessness, the intense energy etc. that usually indicates Uranus to me. I have Sun conjunct Uranus and it can get triggered, not just by transit but by spending a lot of time being creative on the computer (a very uranian energy) I seem to exist on a different energy level when that happens, food and sleep don't seem important and time flies by.

Well, this feeling isn't quite like that, it feels expansive and optimistic and although I feel I must keep tabs on it so it doesn't get too much, it is enjoyable, things are moving, I feel positive and energised. I am putting lots of things into action that have been simmering in the background.

Jupiter has been transiting opposite my Mercury at 3 degrees Leo and is just moving to sit on my mid heaven at 6 degrees Aquarius which is also the degree of the coming new moon eclipse.

Astrology a mirror of the soul

2009-01-20T00:29:00.014Z

The planets and their functions or their individual "personalities" are mirrors of the archetypal forces inherent both in us personally, and in humanity as a whole. They are contained by and their various positions are plotted within the circle of your birthchart/self. (The circle...a symbol of wholeness)

This is your own cast of characters, each one with its own personality (what sign/element it falls in) and its own interaction with everything/everyone else contained within the circle/self. As with any bunch of people (planets/signs/principles,) some will get on really famously...(helpful agreeable aspects / lines of energy between them,) and some will cause tension or be ignored /disliked /contained etc. etc.

But, as is the case with anything that is repressed, it will eventually have to be heard/acknowledged/dealt with for wholeness to occur. Or it will be constantly mirrored to you from outside of yourself, in the form of other people or circumstances etc. in order that you learn from it/own it. Each one of us has a completely unique pattern/ interplay of energies contained within us, but the fundamental drives of humanity are common to us all.

Astrology is a remarkable tool in the understanding of your own particular individuality / birth vision / potential / capabilities. It helps you...hopefully with understanding and compassion, to mediate between all of the different "characters" in your own play/personality structure. All is there, naked and vulnerable. No masks. No defences.
If you are willing to look and to understand - it is a mirror of the soul.
Copyright © SB 2008

Submariner - 12th house

2009-01-20T00:00:00.014Z

SUBMARINER
I am a submariner.
I explore the depths.

I have no choice,
I am looking for my freedom.

I trawl the ocean bottom
and drag my treasures up to the light.

Make them conscious.

Illuminate the shadows,
so that there can be no fear.

(Moon and Mars in 12th house)

Copyright © SB 2008

Too much Neptune

2009-01-19T23:35:00.014Z

TOO MUCH NEPTUNE
She sat, huddled.
Her thin life coming apart at the seams.
She pulled it to her
for warmth and cold comfort.
A fragile shell,
that could neither hold her in,
or anything else out.
No division,
no exterior, no interior
no sanctuary
from the storms of emotion
from the weather of her moods.
She sang her own song,
no one elses would do.
She saw through walls,
and conversations
and the look in peoples eyes.
Everything was stark,

Uncovered
Understood.

Sun conjunct Uranus

2009-01-19T23:28:00.012Z

Astrology and access to the subconscious

2009-01-19T23:20:00.021Z

Astrology has given me a way to access my subconscious. A doorway into the realm where archetypes and dream images dwell, the place where the lens through which I view my world is either warped, or polished.

Pure intellect alone could not have given me entry into that world, for shaman like I have journeyed into that realm, only to have lost my visions on the threshold of consciousness.

Astrology as a symbolic language enables me to carry my discoveries safely back, so that my mind can then set about interpreting the images that are my messages to myself.

Copyright © SB 2001

AIR : Mars in Gemini

2009-01-19T23:13:00.015Z

Air
Buffeted by internal winds
my thoughts take flight.
Birdlike, they swoop and soar,
riding the thermals
of my mind.
Circling shoals,
winged and able.
Enjoying the freedom.
Relishing the space.
Not fettered, nor caged.
Observational acrobats.
Comfortable,
In their element.

Mars in Gemini sextile Mercury

Copyright © SB 2008

4 Fire - 4 Earth

2009-01-19T21:22:00.017Z

FIRE
Fickle fingers of flame
leap into the waiting air.
Curling Clockwise,
like tendrils
reaching for the sun.
Beneath the tranquil surfaces,
rampant fires are raging.
Earth scorched from within,
splits and trickles.
Molton core,
seeking
the light of day.

(4 Fire/4 Earth)

Copyright © SB 2008

EARTH -Taurus Moon

2009-01-19T21:02:00.020Z

EARTH
Red brown earth, newly ploughed,

fertile and ready for growth.
Touches my Taurus moon.
Calls for my naked body.
Rolls me in its rich soil.
I feel the season.
Springtime energy
infuses me
patient,
as the sunwarmed life
springs forth.
Singing to me,
of days to come.
Dreaming
of the harvest.

(Taurus Moon)

Copyright © SB 2008

Jupiter transit to Mercury

2009-01-19T20:04:00.015Z

Lots of entries showing for today as I am moving across a lot of old stuff that was stored elsewhere. I also deleted the old entries for a new start and changed to a new blogger template. I designed the new page logo too. Just checked on astrodienst and transiting Jupiter is opposite my natal Mercury and is exact today!

Solitude - 12th House

2009-01-19T17:07:00.032Z

SOLITUDE

It is in my solitude

that I both feed my strength,

and indulge my demons.

Silence...

magnifies me.

Moon opposite Neptune

2009-01-19T16:43:00.028Z

Neptune has been my Mother
bought forth from her very womb,
I feel her every nuance,
whilst wandering in her rooms.

She has always been around me,
but I've never seen her face.
Her gentle arms, encircle me,
as I'm staring into space.

Oceanic energy,
that coddles, and reveals.
The masks are constantly changing,
depending how she feels.

I'm familiar with formlessness,
with things that never end.
Boundaries, that don't exist.
…Realities that bend.

She cossets my emotion,
whilst exposing every thought.
Dwelling in her special place.
High priestess…holding court.

(12th house Moon opp Neptune
both square Mercury on I.C.)

Copyright © SB 2008

A Universal Language

2009-01-19T15:09:00.015Z

For a soul seeking wholeness, enlightenment and understanding, astrology is a lantern bearer, a reliable guide rope, on the quest for the self. It leads you into your own dark corners, so that you may uncover the treasure lurking in them.

It has layer upon layer of meaning, as once something has been internalised and understood, it would seem, another wrapper will appear, it too waiting to be peeled off in our continuing search for understanding. It truly is, an invaluable tool in the understanding of our self and our relationships.

It is a universal language, when the understanding of it has been internalised, it then becomes possible to see the planetary/archetypal/symbolic imagery in everything, and every situation. It fosters great insight into the make up of personality structures. We each have the same players, coloured differently, and forming our own unique pattern, but a definite identifiable cast of characters/energies.

Copyright © SB 2008